It was right after the Revolution, right after peace had been concluded, and Ethan Allen went to London to help our new country conduct its business with the king. The English sneered at how rough we are, and rude and simple-minded and on like that, everywhere he went, till one day he was invited to the townhouse of a great English lord. Dinner was served, and beverages imbibed, time passed, as happens, and Mr. Allen found he needed the privy. He was grateful to be directed thence.
Now, Mr. Allen discovered on entering the water closet that the only decoration therein was a portrait of George Washington. Ethan Allen done what he came to do and returned to the drawing room. His host and the others were disappointed when he didn't mention Washington's portrait. And finally His Lordship couldn't resist, and asked Mr. Allen had he noticed it, the picture of Washington. He had. Well, what did he think of its placement, did it seem appropriately located to Mr. Allen? Mr. Allen said it did. His host was astounded.
"Appropriate? George Washington's likeness in a water closet?"
"Yes," said Mr. Allen, "where it'll do good service; the whole world knows nothing'll make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight of George Washington."